On Monday, Travis and I had an evening adventure in New York. For his birthday I had given him tickets to see one of his favorite singer guys (Bright Eyes) (also the singer of one of our two wedding songs) at Radio City. So I worked a regular day, came home and we were on the road by 4:30, both with travel mugs of tea in hand (this detail becomes important...) So a Monday night, traveling south on 95 shouldn't be too bad, but you have to count on SOME traffic getting into the city particularly at prime rush hour...I'd say we cruised along well enough until we were in the Bronx. Then it was stop and go, then mostly stop. I'm beginning to feel like I have to pee so I mention it (it's important to plant the seed well in advance of it becoming an emergency, particularly when in traffic and where there are no easy "rest stops.") So I planted. Did I mention the mostly stopped traffic?
I begin to have flashbacks to our trip to Newark Airport for our honeymoon. Much the same slow-to-not-moving traffic however at least we didn't have a plane to catch this time around. So say we began the traffic at about 5:15 (and pee seed planted at this time as well). Knowing we're already in the Bronx I was fine with the traffic. We weren't going to be late for the show that doesn't start until 8. So we sit and wait in line. And we wait. And wait. And didn't get very far and now it's 6:00 (did I mention I have to pee?). I vocalize my need again along the lines of, "So I may really need to stop and pee at some point kinda soon." We make an attempt to get off the highway and do some backroads for awhile, but somehow we ended up on the highway again just a little ways down. Now it's becoming urgent. Belt is unbuckled. Soon thereafter I'm doing the leg shake. I find myself eyeing underpasses as being a good possibility for a sheltered, somewhat private possibility (I had to do this once before years ago when there was such traffic because a bridge was out.) No more underpasses and now we're merging onto our next highway. I eyeball my travel mug and say,"Okay, it's officially an emergency...we're going to need to just get off the next chance we get." Travis speaks calmly along the lines of, "I don't think I've ever had to go so badly to the bathroom." I shush him. He asks something about directions or the map, I tell him I can't look at a map because I only can focus on not peeing!! I'm dancing in my seat. We get off the highway and pull into the first gas station we see...yay...ohhhhh, no bathroom. We drive down the road, I'm telling Trav, just pull into a parking lot...then we see our sign for the 3rd street bridge that we were going to so we just went over the bridge (I was hoping to have peed before getting into Manhattan out of fear of not being able to walk and find a bathroom.) Oh well. We go over the bridge, on to FDR drive and get off the first exit, pull down a dark road next to the highway, there's a shady excuse for a "park" a couple of trees and some grass and I run behind the tree and do my thing....Holy Camoley!! Now I can relax and enjoy myself. Of course I told Travis when I got back into the car that this story doesn't leave the car, but it's actually funny now...I was actually very worried!
So it was a good thing I got that out of my system because now we get back on FDR heading south and get off around 60th to begin cutting across town. It's about 6:30 now. Still time to grab a quick bite before the show. So we begin making our way across town when I feel like we're going up a hill (in Manhattan???) I see signs for the 59th street bridge ahead so I tell Trav to turn because we don't want to cross over into Queens. Well we turn and lo and behold we're on the bridge ramp, no turning back now, on our way to Astoria. Mind you, we're both very even tempered at this point, rolling with the punches (even Travis who really doesn't like traffic, no less a wife with an emergency while in traffic, no less going back over the river that we just crossed, heading in the opposite direction than we needed to be). So you think you can just go across the bridge, turn around and come right back...ummm no, not so much...one way one way, no left turn, no right turn...we drove in circles following signs leading us back to the bridge...insanity! We eventually make our way over again, get to a parking garage, and are walking to the theater at 7:30. No dinner. No relaxing. We stop at the falafel guy on the corner to grab a sandwich but he's all out of falafel. Oh well. We go into the theater, past all the hip young kids and to the bar. We may not be so hip and young, but at least we can drink a $9.00 dixie cup full of watery Merlot to decompress after an unexpected 3 hour journey into NY. What the heck! I've never had such trouble getting into the city (or around the country, and even countries that I can't read the road signs in!) Oh well. We made it there safe and sound. To be continued...unless I don't feel like it!
Happy Turkey Day to All!! Count your Blessings and Enjoy your Time with Family!
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